I recently spent a week by the shore with my Dad on the East Coast.  It was warm and sunny most days. I’ve spent a good part of my life living near the ocean and now that I am a mid-westerner, I find I miss it, though Lake Michigan does sooth me.  So, I quickly made it part of my morning routine each day to go down to the beach for a walk and a swim. 

A walk on the beach has always been rich with spiritual meaning for me.  Over the years, I have contemplated the vastness of the ocean and all the life within.  I have been intrigued with the tides and the cadence of the waves, with how the ocean itself changes color to match it’s mood.  I have picked up mountains of shells, pristine, whole, perfect beautiful gems of the ocean.

This year, after several years of personal difficulty, growth and change, I sensed this time was to be one of respite.  The trip actually came at a very chaotic time.  Of course with 3 teenage girls, when isn’t it chaotic, and initially when Dad asked me to stay with him so his wife could have surgery, I felt a bit guilty for leaving my husband with such a mess.  But I quickly sensed  this was actually a God ordained rest.  So I vetured to live each day in expectancy, resting and breathing deeply.

As I walked each morning, clearing my mind, letting it be washed by the sea and picking up shells, I found myself particularly drawn to those which had been broken.  Broken, pummeled then polished, these shells were very smooth and in more rounded shapes.  They were actually just pieces of what they had been originally but their uniqueness was still evident by their colors and patterns, which were much more pronounced now that they had been polished. 

It occurred to me that this represented a paradigm shift that had occurred deeply within me.  That through the last several years of difficulty, I had come to value the traits I found in these polished pieces more than the pristine originals, just as in my life, I had come to value the richness in relationships, honesty--just being who I am, humility, compassion and, grace more than performance, position and the appearance of perfection. 

And I was amazed.